Those that obtain my weekly e-newsletter know that I write a brand new article every week that I ship out for free to those that subscribe. The articles are my method of connecting with my neighborhood and sharing data that fulfills my dedication to assist males and their households to reside totally, love deeply, and make a constructive distinction on the planet. The articles additionally tackle points that assist me enhance my life for myself and my household.
Not each article is useful for all 12,000 present subscribers, however some articles converse to many, and some go viral on the net and are learn by tens of millions. That was the case with an article I wrote on February 3, 2017 titled “The One Factor Males Need Extra Than Intercourse Is The One Factor Girls Discover It Arduous to Give.” Inside just a few months after it was printed it was learn by greater than three-million folks.
The article started this manner:
“What number of instances have we heard the phrase, ‘All males need is intercourse?’ After I was 17 years outdated I used to be certain it was true. After I was 37 years outdated, I suspected it may not be true. And now that I’m 73 years outdated, I do know it’s not true. Now don’t get me unsuitable, intercourse will be great at any age, however there’s one thing that’s extra vital than intercourse, nevertheless it’s one thing that males have issue admitting and ladies have issue giving.”
“This understanding has dawned on me slowly and have become most evident to me in my males’s group. I’ve been assembly usually with six different guys for thirty-eight years and intercourse has been a subject that has run via our discussions over time.”
The boys’s group has now been assembly for forty-six years. 4 of the seven guys have died and solely three of us are nonetheless on the earth and capable of meet reside. Once we started assembly in 1979, there have been three guys older than me and three guys youthful. I’m the oldest now and I’ll be 82 in December. The opposite two guys are approaching eighty. We met yesterday and one of many guys shared that he had been requested by a pal: “In case you died tomorrow, is there something you’ll remorse?”
He thought concerning the query and admitted that there have been most likely a variety of issues, however one there was one thing he knew for certain.
“The time I’ve spent with you guys within the males’s group gave me the reward of a life-time figuring out that I’m secure — that nothing I say or do will ever trigger the blokes within the group to reject me.”
That’s precisely what I had written about within the unique article:
“So, what do males need greater than intercourse? We’ve all heard that ladies must really feel cherished to have intercourse, however males must have intercourse to really feel cherished. Let’s look extra deeply at what it’s precisely that males are getting once they get intercourse. Certain, there’s the bodily pleasure, however there’s a deeper want that’s being happy. I name it the necessity for a secure harbor.”
When folks go to my web site, they see my welcome video “Confessions of a Twice-Divorced Marriage Counselor.” One of many seventeen books I’ve written was titled Searching for Love in All of the Flawed Locations. It captured the challenges I had discovering actual, lasting, love. My current spouse, Carlin, will let you know that one of many major causes she and I’ve been married for forty-five years now’s as a result of I’ve been in a males’s group for forty-six years.
We reside in a world the place most of us don’t really feel secure. The atmosphere that’s our life help system continues to deteriorate, and {our relationships} usually really feel fraught with hazard and battle. Throughout my forty-six years within the males’s group, I discovered the secure harbor that I consider we’re all seeking to discover in our love lives.
In the end, the secure harbor all of us crave is inside every considered one of us. We should study to like ourselves unconditionally, to know that we are going to settle for ourselves regardless of the errors all of us make being imperfect human beings. To try this, I consider we should be surrounded by household, associates, and communities which can be wholesome and supportive.
AI, or synthetic intelligence, has change into a major presence in everybody’s lives. Like an important deal on the planet in the present day, the response to AI polarizes folks. There are those that consider at AI will clear up all the issues that people have created and result in a world magnificence and marvel. Others consider AI will kill us all.
One of many true specialists I’ve discovered to belief is Mo Gawdat, creator of a variety of books together with Scary Sensible: The Way forward for Synthetic Intelligence and How You possibly can Save Our World. Mo is the previous chief enterprise officer of Google X, a serial entrepreneur, and host of a profitable podcast, Slo Mo, the place I had the pleasure of being interviewed.
In Scary Sensible, my say
“This e book is a wake-up name. It’s written for you and for me and for everybody who’s uninformed concerning the approaching pandemic — the approaching arrival of synthetic intelligence.” He goes on to say that “this e book might be criticized by specialists, however it’s not specialists who’ve the potential to alleviate the menace dealing with humanity because of the emergence of superintelligence. No, it’s you and I who’ve that energy. Extra importantly it’s you and I who’ve that accountability.”
In a latest article on MenAlive, I wrote an article highlighting the work of two colleagues, Scott Galloway and Richard Reeves, who’ve taken that accountability severely. Although Scott, Richard, and I’ve very totally different skilled backgrounds, we’re additionally fathers of sons, and we share a priority for the well-being of all kids in every single place.
Scott Galloway is a professor of promoting at NYU’s Stern College of enterprise and a serial entrepreneur. He credit Richard Reeves as “my Yoda and skilled on boys and males.” (Reeves is the Founding father of the American Institute for Boys and Males and creator of the e book Of Boys and Males: Why The Trendy Male is Struggling, Why It Issues, and What to Do About It).
In his lately launched e book, Notes on Being a Man, Galloway devotes a chapter to “Intercourse, Love, and Marriage,” and warns concerning the risks boys and males are experiencing because of the rising use of on-line seek for intercourse, love, and intimacy.
“We used to satisfy potential mates at college, at work, via associates, and out on the planet,” says Galloway. “Now not. On-line relationship shares the issues with different applied sciences that scale our instincts. Algorithms are detached to social pursuits, and that, coupled with human nature, gave us January 6 and QAnon.”
In his No Mercy/No Malice article, September 5, 2025, Galloway famous “Loneliness is profitable” and cited the next:
“Leonid Radvinsky, the secretive proprietor of OnlyFans, obtained a $700 million windfall final 12 months, whereas the platform’s high tier of content material creators — principally ladies — earn tens of millions yearly. With $7.2 billion in annual gross income and simply 46 staff, OnlyFans could also be one of the vital worthwhile firms on the planet. The positioning is seen as a porn-centric hub the place males pay ladies for sexual content material.”
Galloway concludes saying,
“Whereas OnlyFans is understood for its subscription mannequin, one-off transactions are driving 88 p.c of the income progress. These ‘ideas’ are an arbitrage on the disparity between the organic impulse to mate and the dearth of mating alternatives.”
And males pay a excessive worth in cash spent and feelings manipulated via on-line hope to search out somebody to fulfill our human wants for connection.
However it isn’t only a website like OnlyFans that issues Galloway. In Notes on Being a Man he seems to be extra broadly on the on-line world that draws so many boys and males.
“Courting apps kind potential companions right into a tiny group of haves and a titanic group of have-nots,” says Galloway. “On Hinge, the highest 10 p.c of males obtain practically 60 p.c of the ‘likes;’ the comparable determine for ladies is 45 p.c. The underside 80 p.c of male Tinder customers, based mostly on proportion of likes obtained, are competing for the underside 22 p.c of girls. If it have been a rustic, Tinder can be among the many most unequal on the planet.”
Galloway encourages boys and males to take dangers to satisfy folks in the actual world, not the substitute world on-line.
“Lookup and round you whenever you’re out, to see if anybody catches your eye. Speak to strangers. Be open to chance.”
Which may be simpler mentioned than carried out. I’ve discovered that it’s straightforward to change into hooked on the web world. As I described in my e book, Searching for Love in All of the Flawed Locations: Overcoming Romantic and Sexual Addictions. We have to help boys and males in re-learning the abilities to search for love in all the correct locations.
I respect you studying my articles, sharing them, and providing your feedback or questions. You possibly can write me to [email protected]. I learn all emails and reply to as many as I can. You possibly can subscribe to our free weekly e-newsletter right here.
“Will AI make us smarter or simply quicker fools? I’m betting closely on the ‘quicker fools’ final result until we get very, very good about designing these techniques to counteract our worst instincts, not simply cater to them.” Vivienne L’Ecuyer Ming
